The Hungry Caterpillars

My hungry little boy wants to eat ALL the time.

Like mother like son...

Last night Dex went to his first party with Joel's musician friends. We had to dress him appropriately. He's been such a good boy...sleeping for a very long stretch at night. (Five to six hours.) Very nice.

Hey lady, leave me alone!: A Photo Essay

It's the same old song but with a different meaning...

For years mothers have been struggling with the dilemma of staying home to raise their children or working to support their family. Now, I know it isn't always a choice, but for the sake of this post I'll discuss it like it is. When Joel and I were thinking about buying a house we had many discussions about whether or not it was the right time. Taking on our rather substantial mortgage to buy the best house we could find for the cost eliminated the possibility that either one us would ever be able to stay at home with the kids. We are, like many other families I know, a two income family in order to own a home. (Yes, we could have spent less money, but we would have had to live in a neighborhood where we wouldn't have felt as safe or put so much money into the house we'd be in the same financial situation.) At the time, and even now, I believe that was the right choice FOR US. I wanted to be able to create a world rich with traditions like having a yard to play in, a place to mark their growth on the wall, with the added bonus of home equity to give us a bit of security. The downside of this is getting to miss out on some of the day to day stuff that I'd get to see if I stayed home, as well as the worries that might come about from putting Dex in daycare. But now that Dex is here and I spend each day with him, I begin to dread the thought of leaving him each day. I am very fortunate to have close family members and friends who will take care of him for this school year so that he won't be in daycare until September; however, I still hate the thought of leaving him each day. So this is how I console myself:

*Dex will adjust just fine. He has a ton of people who love him; especially his mom and dad who will hate to leave him each day but are doing it in order to provide the best life for him that they can.

*Joel and I are fortunate to even have this dilemma because we are lucky enough to be educated and employable. We both love what we do and love it all the more because it enables us to care for our family.

*Although teaching has its downsides, the hours are definitely an upside and we will be able to spend more time with him than any other full time job would allow.

So, yeah, this is some of what drifts through my mind between feedings and playing, and rocking Dex to sleep, and working on the yearbook, and laughing at the state of my house. Don't worry though; I am not letting this get too much in the way of enjoying the time that I do have to be home with him.

This is a little picture I like to call "Big Head, Tiny wrists".

This little piggy holds his own bottle...

Look at that happy guy. Guess what? Last night he slept from 9:30pm- 3:30am...the longest stretch ever by far. Then, he slept again from 4:15-8:00! I haven't slept so long since December 5th. Hooray! I feel sort of human again. I hope this is a trend and not a one off.

In other news...the Bears won. hooray. (lowercase letters to show lack of enthusiasm). Do you think there will be another Superbowl Shuffle? Gross. Also, look at Dex's cool cousins. We had so much fun at the farm last weekend.

Confession...

I don't really care about the Bears. I try. I am one of those people others mock when they say "name two Bears players", 'cause I can't do it. (Though, maybe because I know Brian Urlacher, even if I can't spell it. Plus, there's the guy who has been on the news...Tank something. Johnson? Williams Jr.? Plus, I guess I know there is a cute one with an unpronouncable name.) My friends are all really into it and go to games even if it is zero below. But me, if you invite me to your superbowl party, I'm only coming to eat your chili cheese dip and find the other secret football haters.

Dex has been good about doing his morning workout at the baby gym. Me, on the other hand... I'm too busy eating brownies for breakfast. I have a crazy sweet tooth which I irrationally blame on nursing.

The Baby Burrito

A friend recommended a baby book called The Happiest Baby on the Block. Since I have ADD lately I got the DVD instead. It essentially involves wrapping Dex up like a burrito. Turning him on his side almost as if I am playing him like a guitar and jiggling him like jello on a plate. I am not saying this is the answer to all my parenting prayers (ahem, family members who mocked me), but it does seem to calm Dex down. It looks pretty ridiculous though.

In other news...I have a social engagement sans bebe planned in the coming weeks! My first night out with the girls while Joel stays home. Where to? Showtunes at Sidetracks of course! I have the Wicked Soundtrack on right now to get me warmed up.

And I have no book recommendations because time to read right now is limited until I finish my yearbook deadlines. I keep trying, but as soon as I open a book I fall asleep drooling onto the pages. However, if I could read, these are what I am interested in currently:

About Alice

Love is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time

The Book Thief: The True Crimes of Daniel Spiegelman (Written by a friend; I can't wait to read it)

Ahab's Wife (Jen highly recommends this book. I will read it soon because I think I'll like it, but it is on the long side.)

Hide (Lisa Gardner is one of my favorite suspense writers; this doesn't even come out for another two weeks, but I do usually find her books to be page turners.)

And, of course because I am a new mother totally obsessed with pictures of the kid...isn't he the cutest baby?

Some things I have learned while staying home with the baby...

• Sometimes Dexter looks at me so lovingly it melts my heart.
• Sometimes Dexter looks down his nose at me (like when I am bouncing him in his chair at the specific pace neccessary to prevent his tears). I swear his expression says, "You fool. You will answer to my every whim and love it. I am the boss of you. Hahahahahah."
• The View is pretty stupid, but will keep you entertained while breastfeeding. Ditto for Reba and What I Like About You. (Reba is actually kind of funny.) Not the case with Maury, Tyra, and any Courtroom TV show. Those shows are bad in the unwatchable way.
• My house is kind of messy, but at least it isn't dirty.
• My huge pregnancy appetite hasn't gone away.
• Traffic is a lot lighter during the day and Dexter loves the car.
• Although I still don't let Dex sleep in the bed with us at night, I have given in to get an afternoon nap in, and it is my favorite time of day. (Not just for the sleep but for the snuggling.)
• Time flies! I can't believe how fast the days pass.
• I am tired. and...
• This motherhood stuff is the hardest and most wonderful thing I've ever done.

What's cuter than a baby in a funny hat?



A baby sleeping!



Dex and I are enjoying a very nice day at home today after a day from Aitch Eee double hockey sticks yesterday. (Did I really just write that out? What next? Mom jeans?) This maternity leave thing is really nice...

Social Butterflies...

A few days before Christmas I left the house for the first time with Dex and without Joel (sort of). I had to follow him to take his car in to the shop. It was a very short trip, but you would have thought I was traveling to Darfur or something; I was that terrified the whole time. My knuckes were white as I gripped the steering wheel trying to wrap my brain around the enormity of trusting my driving enough to transport the cargo that was most precious to me. I didn't even remember to bring a diaper bag. I couldn't wait to return to the safety of my home. Fast forward two weeks and I am happy to report that Dex and I went out together on Wednesday and today. We visited with a few friends and even hit the grocery store. I still get overwhelmed with the responsibility of taking care of this little guy, but we are handling it together. Not to say that there won't hundreds of other scary points in this adventure, but I am glad that initial terror has abated somewhat.

The guessing game...

Two weeks ago when Dex would scream his head off he could only be calmed down with the Soothie brand pacifier. (Our family rather crudely calls them plugs.) But those are apparently SOOO 2006! Today after much screaming and spitting of said Soothie back at mommy, we have learned that only the Nuks will do in the new year.

In college I wrote essays comparing literature based on a post modern point of view to a second wave feminist point of view. As a teacher I have researched multiple strategies for literacy development. Now... I am writing about which type of Binky works the best??? I wouldn't change a thing, but it makes me laugh. And truthfully this research has much more relevance and practical application than the college essays. (Though it is fun to think about what those second wave feminists would think about the image of the Soothie posted above.)

2007!

This year I resolve to...

Enjoy time with my son every day

Be the kind of mom I can feel proud of

Appreciate the wonderful things about my husband and not get worked up over petty arguments (Look at how handsome my guys are up there!)

Stop enjoying gossip

Stop biting my nails (this is on the list every year)

Be less judgemental

Learn how to spell judgmental

Work out more and feel bad about my body less

Make healthier choices about eating

Keep a nice garden

Learn a craft (stained glass? Sewing? Stripping and refinishing wood?)

Be more sarcastic on the blog so Pete won’t call me Barbie anymore

Stop biting off more than I can chew

Don’t procrastinate the yearbook deadlines

Be more positive about work

Go on more camping trips

Get over myself and my quest for perfection

Hi! We are in Michigan on Dex's first road trip. He has been such a good boy. He was so silent the whole ride except for the last two minutes before we got to Grandpa Barr's house. Nice work kid. We head home tomorrow and on New Year's Eve I will have my first night home alone with the baby (Daddy's got a paying music gig. Woo hoo!). I am so nervous that he'll have a bad night and I will not get any sleep at all, but I am sure everything we'll be fine.

I just finished reading a sweet little book ('cause little is all I can swing right now) for the southside book club (yes, that brings my book club total up to 3!). It's called Atchafalaya Houseboat: My Years in the Louisiana Swamp. I enjoyed it, and think you would if you are in to nature conservancy/ alternative living arrangements/ or all things cajun. We've also been watching a lot of DVDs. If you haven't already rented Invincible or Little Miss Sunshine, they are worth checking out.

My heart is full...

I am really enjoying being the mother to a boy. It is really fun to hang out with my two guys. Aren't they sweet all curled up and sleepy? I have everything my heart desires this Christmas.

Another bonus of living with two guys? Well, ever since I was a little girl, I have found nothing to be funnier than a good fart joke. (Ask my mom about her nickname for me.) With my house full of men there is no end to the gastric hilarity. We aren't a classy bunch here, but we're always laughing. (Does that make me a bad mom if I laugh when Dex toots? I don't want to give him a complex. Well, at least more of a complex than I probably am already giving him by keeping this blog.)

Merry Christmas!

Not much new here. Dex & I just are hanging out getting ready for Christmas. We're finally putting up the tree tonight. Joel went back to work today, but only for two days so we can handle it.

I probably won't be posting much but pictures for the next few days, so Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope your holidays will be spent with family and friends.

Sleep deprived but happy...

Little Man is 12 days old today, and I have only left the house once since we've been home. Do you think it is probably time? Joel does. I am just so tired it is the last thing I feel like doing. I know, I know, the "tired" is what I signed up for. I am not complaining...I am just dreaming of a nap in the near future. But it is all worth it. Look at this beautiful boy. His dad and I are convinced that he smiled at each of us yesterday. The book says it is gas but that we can go ahead and believe it is a smile. I am choosing to. Here is a picture ofLittle Man in Cousin Girl's lifesaving swing. He totally looks like his daddy.

Another hormone induced meander...

WARNING: I still haven't gotten my sarcasm back. This post is cheesey, gushy, and devoid of all irony. I'm sure I'll return to my old self soon...

but I couldn't have gotten through this week so well without the help of our wonderful family and friends. From bringing us meals, to babysitting so I could nap, to breast feeding class and massages, my family and friends have really pitched in to make this first week home beautiful and memorable. I've felt wrapped in a cocoon where I can focus on taking care of Little Man and figuring out this whole mom thing. It's even better because it is right before Christmas. For those of you who read this, I can't thank you enough for the company and support this week.

I loved watching my sister Liza, Little Man's godmother, with the baby yesterday. She tries to put up a tough exterior, but to those who know her, or those who watch her with a baby, it is clear what a softie she is. I feel so overwhelmed and fortunate to watch Martha, my mom, dad, Jen, Liza, my aunties, etc. and to know that they love this little guy too and that Joel and I are not in this alone. Now if only I can sleep.

She REALLY Meanders...

So Little Man has been home for three nights. He slept horribly night one. He slept like a sweet little angel in night two. He hardly slept a wink last night. Yikes!

He had a great visit to the Dr. yesterday though and has actually gained weight and gotten longer since birth.

Some disappointing news...I didn't achieve the National Board Certification that I attempted last spring. I kind of knew in advance because my portfolio had a very large error in it that I didn't find out about until after submission. I am surprisingly not too disappointed. I really know that I did the best that I could and then made a stupid mistake and mixed up some papers during final submission. This is probably a good lesson for me. Also, I feel so blessed right now with my little boy that it is hard to let other things bring me down. I have never cried so much in a short period of time. They are all tears of joy. (Probably brought on by hormones, admittedly.)

I am amazed at how I am surviving on this little sleep so far. Grandmama McGavic returns home today and Grandma Jane is moving in for a few nights. Joel and I are so spoiled by all of this help. But I'll take it because I am such a rookie when it comes to changing newborn diapers. I totally got peed on yesterday. I swear it was on purpose because Little Man was mad at me for undressing him. I seriously think the kid took aim. It was like an old slapstick movie where someone sniffs the joke flowers and gets squirted by a steady stream in the face. I got him back though. Several of our newborn clothes are hand-me-downs because I think he'll only be wearing them for a few weeks. Unfortunately they are hand-me-downs from Little Man's cousin, Girl. He slept in a pink sleep sack last night. I hope I am not giving him gender confusion. I prefer to look at it as helping him get in touch with his baby feminine side.