Grrr...

Dear Pimply faced brat who egged my car last night,

You are a total loser. Find a girlfriend or a hobby. It is not difficult, nor is it impressive to throw four eggs at a car parked in a driveway from the sidewalk and still miss the car twice! You throw like a girl, sissy boy, and you run like a duck as evidenced by the wussy manner in which you ran when we turned on a light.

Regards,
The owner of the adorable car you bombarded last night.